A Little Reality, A Lotta Fun

Mmmmm-kay.

I may as well 'fess up right away, just to clear the air between us: I have many, many motives when it comes to starting a blog. Some are philanthropic and noble, to be sure, but many are quite self-serving.

In the interest of full disclosure, I thought I'd share them with you.

I need writing samples. I've spent a number of my adult years writing boring stuff like ad copy. It's a great gig, and I highly recommend it. But I'm ready to prove to the world that I have something to say that doesn't end with contact information. I thought blogging would be a great way to accrue an arsenal of witty one-liners and dead-on insights that will make magazine editors salivate...or at least convince them that I can spell.

I know a thing or two about doghouses. First of all, I'm an Irish redhead, which genetically predisposes me to building airtight doghouses to which I can send my spouse. I'm clearly high-maintenance, and I have no problem admitting it. There's a downside to being the feisty girl, though--sometimes I get sent to the ladies' version of a doghouse: The Bitch Bungalow. Early in my marriage I spent so much time there that I've memorized that patterns on the wallpaper. It's a shameful, lonely place. I truly do empathize with anyone who's ever spent time sleeping on a proverbial concrete slab, and I want to help you find your way back to your cozy spot at the foot of the bed...or wherever it is that people in happy relationships sleep.

I don't have anything better to do. Really.

I'm secretly hoping my husband will read this. I mean, we could talk about things, but it's so much simpler for me just to write things down and watch in amazement as they magically get fixed. This is really a gift to him: the key to his doghouse padlock. Enjoy it, baby. The slobbery tennis ball is in your court, now. The secrets to a successful relationship are all right here.

Serious myth debunking. Every girl's got a good guy buddy or two who calls her for sisterly advice. If she listens to him long enough, she'll invariably encounter a lament about how "mysterious" and "complex" and "difficult" women can be. In poor Mr. Guy Buddy's defense, the women in his life have undoubtedly perpetuated this myth. We play games. We do. But that's not who we really are. The truth is, we're just as simple as men. If you stick around for awhile, I'll teach you everything you need to know to figure out how to relate to us. And though we may pout and tell you we're too complicated to be figured out by reading a blog, we'll secretly be glad you're doing your homework.


That's what I'm up to, but I need your help to make it work. Email me your questions, fellas. Need help planning a date? Can't figure out what to buy her for her birthday? Did you get in trouble for ogling at her best friend? I'm happy to help. Let's get me in business, and get you out of the doghouse for good.